Killing Me Softly

If for this life only we have hoped, we are most of all to be pitied.  

So in my post yesterday, I think I didn’t know just how deep the “pride” of “changing the world” ran, and it has been interesting to see and hear responses to related conversations on Facebook and elsewhere today.  Unfortunately, I also had the um, displeasure, of coming across the following article from The Lutheran: “Business as Usual is Off the Table".  Two quotes: 

“The pastor's work will be more community organizing and startup entrepreneurship, and less presiding at the table. That will require new skills, a new self-understanding, and a new tolerance for ambiguity, conflict and collaboration.” 

and 

“Needs outside the door will matter more than customer satisfaction inside the door. The pushback on this basic change of focus will make battles over gender, sex and language seem incidental.  Privileged cohorts will protest; established leaders will protest; people accustomed to being served and flattered will protest.”

I'll take the second one first: Is the only thing we currently do "inside the door" "customer satisfaction"?  What of the "needs" "inside the door"?  The need to hear the Word preached, to need to have sins forgiven, the need to receive the Sacraments? All of that is simply "customer satisfaction"?  And anyone who protests is only doing so because they are currently "privileged" and "accustomed to being served and flattered"?  Are you fucking kidding me?  

Second, the first.  Let me be clear: I have been a “community organizer” and a “startup entrepreneur.”  My “past life” was staffing political campaigns.  I have worked everything from state legislative races to Presidential caucuses.  I have worked issue campaigns.  I have worked 80-hours-per-week one full year prior to a primary election, for the love of Pete.

All of my time on campaigns was in the “political” division (as opposed to finance, communications, or policy).  “Political staff” is in charge of “building the organization.”  My job, on each of these campaigns, was to do the following: recruit general precinct and county chairs, recruit county coalition chairs (think pro-life, farmers, veterans, hunters, etc), organize and drive turnout for “events” with the candidate (the rallies you see on CSPAN with the perfectly smiling veterans and perfectly hairsprayed-and-coat-hangered-into-submission American flags behind an enthusiastic candidate), find volunteers to doorknock and call and doorknock and call again every registered Republican in county after county after county, coordinate entries/walk in/find more volunteers for every last “Corn Daze” and Fourth of July and Memorial Day and Veterans Day parade I could find, secure locations for hundreds and hundreds of yard signs and barn signs and drive all over the state to drop them off and get them erected, coordinate with other campaigns on the ticket, as well as the state party, to make sure that we’re all on the same page and not accidentally duplicating each other’s work (which generally happened anyway), attend county party meetings and conventions on behalf of the candidate or the issue, be the ground-level public face of the campaign which more often than not means letting people complain at you about things like “if he was really a Christian he wouldn’t have said ‘damn’ in reference to mosquitos”, and in general, handle anything and everything that doesn’t involve fundraising or media.  

Bonus tasks: go toe-to-toe with (er… “tolerate”) the true wingnuts – and believe me, they are out there, have my integrity personally questioned by opposing candidates (“Do you really believe in him, or are you just doing it for the paycheck?”), carve out enough time to attend the earliest worship service on Sunday morning but be back in the office by 10 am, routinely stay at the office until 10 pm or later, rack up numerous speeding tickets, get yelled at by my boss when I can’t convince enough people to leave work at 2 pm on a Tuesday to attend a meet-and-greet with the candidate at Pizza Hut, watch totally unqualified people be promoted to tasks they are utter failures at only because they are sleeping with the campaign manager who is abusing campaign funds to pay for hotel rooms to be with her, collect name/birthdate/ssn of all 500 people who want to see the President at a rally, lie to farmers about gas mileage and engine damage caused by ethanol, never ever take anything remotely resembling a vacation, man the phones reminding people to attend a caucus 2 weeks away until noon on Christmas Eve, shall I go on?????

Some people can do this.  And I want to tread somewhat lightly, because there are people reading this, including some very dear friends, who have made careers of staffing campaigns.  They do it, and they do it well.  And being involved in our semi-democratic-sorta-republic is a good thing; our approximate political freedom is a gift from God, and so too, is the government in general (Romans 13).  Working hard for the advancement of worthy causes in the Left-Hand Kingdom is not inherently evil.  If God has called you to serve your county/state/country in this way, do it, and do it well, with honesty and integrity.

But for me, it was death.  It was death.  My mother used to call and ask if I had eaten lunch, and most days, I honestly couldn’t remember.  Yes, I worked 14 hour days, 6 days a week, and another 8 hours on Sundays, but who needs Sabbath or sleep when you’re jacked up on caffeine and adrenaline and paranoia? I yelled at elderly men to “walk faster” and would drive 2 hours at 11 pm to find extra cell phones for a phone bank the next day.  I accused my own mother of "giving up" when she refused to make GOTV calls after 8:45 pm on Election Night (polls close at 9:00).  I did conference calls at 6 am and 11 pm every day.  Once, a very cute boy tried to start up a “campaign fling” with me, and I turned him down not on moral grounds but because it would have distracted me from getting a whole city doorknocked for the third time through.

This life turned me quite literally into a depressed, paranoid, lunatic.  One year I was convinced the campaign manager had tapped my cell phone and was secretly listening to me share sob stories with my colleagues, testing my loyalty in advance of firing me “any minute now” for not being sufficiently “on board.”  On the day I decided to get help, I lied about doing event prep in a county near the border, and I crossed state lines to find a pastor who would listen because I firmly and absolutely believed that if I confessed how awful everything was to a pastor at my own congregation, he or she would tell everyone else in the whole church not to vote for my candidate, and we would lose the election, and it would all be my fault.  I don’t know what I said to that dear, sweet, godly man, but whatever it was, it was enough to get me the “suicide interview.”  

That life was death for me.  Politics – campaigns, elections, community organizing – is death, because it hopes for this life only.  It sees nothing but the next event, the next caucus, the next election, the next cycle, the wins, the losses, the reelects.  It cannot acknowledge or hope for the age to come, because to do so would be to admit that all the work, all the hours, all the energy, all the money, all the yard signs, all the convoluted policies are ultimately futile.  

Politics is a seductive little whore, who very nearly succeeded in killing my soul.

And it took me a while, but eventually I got out.  I know, deep in my soul, what is to say that God lifted me out of the miry pit and set my feet firmly on the Rock.  I landed in seminary, where through a series of fits and starts, I ended up in the MDiv program, training to be a pastor.  Yes, sometimes I “work” more than I would like, or have to deal with stupid things or ridiculous people.  Sometimes I’m frustrated or sad or depressed or overwhelmed or overworked, but “on the first day of the week,” every week, I get to preach life.  Life, and life abundant.  I get to preach that every power which tries to speak death to the world has been defeated, that it cannot and will not win, because God has decided that even in the midst of the darkness – and oh, but it’s dark sometimes – even in the midst of the darkness, His light will shine, and it will never, ever be overcome.  

And if politics is a whore, then Jesus Christ was the powerfully gentle leader of the SWAT team, breaking down the door, cutting the handcuffs off the bedposts, wrapping me in swaddling clothes, and taking me home to a hot shower in a safe house.

So when someone – anyone – but most especially a leader of “this church” tells me that I need to do more community organizing and less presiding at the table, I feel as though they are literally taking my salvation away from me.  That person – those people – are attempting to re-enslave me, and to separate me from the only thing that ever freed me.  Yes, I react strongly.  But only because tonight I’m sitting on my couch, feeling like I’m not allowed to have Jesus, or preach Jesus, but only that I must go back to the place, to the life, that very nearly did me in.  

Is that what “this church” really wants me to do?  If so, then I was sold a bill of goods in candidacy, and at my ordination, and in my Letter of Call.  The prospect of returning to my old life brings me to tears, and yet the “leaders” in “this so-called church” seem hell-bent on pushing me back to Egypt.  Did my Lord deliver me only for me to die in the desert?  

“I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”  ~ I Kings 19:10, 14

Putting the Holy Back in Holy Week

My goodness, but the devil is getting loud these days.  Telling us to confuse life for death, and death for life.  Convincing us that to disagree is to hate, that to love is to license, that to kill is to free from slavery.  Ramping up tension and anxiety and anger, so that we cannot see ourselves, or our neighbor, or Christ, during this Holy Week.

Make no mistake, there are vital, critical issues at stake in the public sphere.  We may all disagree to varying degrees on the correct path forward, on what constitutes Truth and Life, on the meaning of words like love and freedom, life and death, rights and license.  Those are important conversations to be had, particularly when they can be had in a mature, adult, intelligent, respectful fashion.

But this week, these are not the most important conversations.  The colors, the pictures, the votes, the manifestos, the righteous indignation, the accounts of suffering…they all pale in comparison to the suffering endured by the one who is Truth and Love himself, Jesus Christ.

This suffering was endured for you, oh suffering one.  This suffering was endured to take away your suffering.  And when you know that, really know it, soak it up for just a few days, it does change your perspective.  It doesn’t make the hurts and wrongs and the abuses of this world go away.  Not at all, but just for a moment, it can show you the truest, real-est, most hopeful, life-filled thing – person – you will ever encounter.  

And the devil knows it.  The devil is a jealous and wily one.  He/she/it wants you to look anywhere but the cross, anywhere but the crown of thorns, anywhere but the host and chalice, anywhere, ultimately, but the empty tomb.  And so the devil ramps up his attacks.  What are normally sly little whispers in our ears (…did God really say…..?) become loud shouts, death throes, the anger and screaming of one who might very well win the round, but will always lose the match.  

So defy the devil this week, Church.  Put down your swords, and take up the Word of God.  Put down your pictures and take up an icon, or better yet, your cross.  Put down your anger and take up grief.  Put down your shouts and take up prayers.  Put down your indignation and take up love.  Put down your despair and take up hope.

 

Know that the gates of hell cannot, and will not, prevail – so have a blessed, reverent, and holy, Holy Week. 

On Insults and Offense

Wow, it's been a long time since I've written...and I've missed it...and I'm bored now, so here goes. 

This post has been rolling around in my head for several days, and it's time to finally put it to paper...or cyberspace...or whatever...

Right now in the Middle East there's all these protests and attacks on U.S. and other western embassies, which nobody likes, save for the protestors, I'm sure.  (And even then, probably only the extroverts among them.  The introverts are probably all "Ok, we made our point, can we go home now?"  But I digress...)

What, precisely, it is that triggered this all of a sudden is still somewhat a matter of debate, although the fact that it started on September 11 is somewhat of a clue.  However, some are claiming that there is a video (produced by an American) floating around on YouTube that is somehow offensive to Muslims or Mohammed or some such thing, and this is stoking the fires of the so-called "Arab Street".  Well, maybe yes, and maybe no.  Apparently this video has been up for months (I haven't seen it, and I'm not really interested in taking the time to look for it), only recently acquired subtitles, etc, so the argument that it "caused" these protests seems kind of lame.  The most we can probably say is that if it somehow made its way into notice by those inclined to protest, then it doesn't appear to have been, um, helpful...with regard to the overall situation. 

But nevertheless...I saw a clip on the news the other day of a protestor holding a sign that read "Death is better than insulting Allah".  That's what triggered this here post.  Because my first thought, my first feeling, was one of pity.  "What a small, small god, you have", I wanted to say.  I feel so bad that this person feels it is his duty to protect God from insult - that he would rather die than see anyone say anything bad about his God.

Not that it's bad to reverence or respect God.  Not that we want to actually attempt to insult or offend him, or that we ought not feel bad when we or others do.  There's a reason we take care to handle the elements of Holy Communion with care.  There's a reason we pay attention to the language we use to describe God, and the will, actions, and character we ascribe to him.  And not that martyrdom - when it comes to us, not when we intentionally bring it upon ourselves - is a dishonorable death.  By no means!

But "Death is better than insulting Allah" seems to suggest a god who is too weak to handle insults, who must be protected from offense.  And seeing that sign made me so, so glad that I have a God who is big enough to handle insults and offense.  I have a God who has taken on every insult, and every offense.  I have a God who has been insulted and offended, abused and mocked, scorned and spat upon, ignored and harassed, stripped naked, dragged through the streets, and killed.  I have a God who took all of that, and then overtook all of it.  I have a God who used all of that abuse that I - and every other person - have heaped upon him for my benefit.

¹ Who has believed our message
    and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
² He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
    and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
    nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
³ He was despised and rejected by mankind,
    a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
    he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.

⁴ Surely he took up our pain
    and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
    stricken by him, and afflicted.
⁵ But he was pierced for our transgressions,
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
    and by his wounds we are healed.
⁶ We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
    each of us has turned to our own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
    the iniquity of us all.

⁷ He was oppressed and afflicted,
    yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
    and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
    so he did not open his mouth.
⁸ By oppression and judgment he was taken away.
    Yet who of his generation protested?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
    for the transgression of my people he was punished.
⁹ He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
    and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
    nor was any deceit in his mouth.

¹⁰ Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
    and though the Lord makes his life an offering for sin,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
    and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand.
¹¹ After he has suffered,
    he will see the light of life and be satisfied;
by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,
    and he will bear their iniquities.
¹² Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,
    and he will divide the spoils with the strong,
because he poured out his life unto death,
    and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,    and made intercession for the transgressors.  ~ Isaiah 53:1-12

I am just so glad, so thankful, that I have a God who takes all the insults and offense and scorn the world has to offer, and instead of getting angry, simply says, "Yep, give it to me.  I'll take it, because I'm big enough to handle it.  In fact, I'm big enough to transform it.  I can take everything, up to and including death itself and turn it into life."

The picture I have of this in my head is of the big strong daddy willingly taking a pummeling by the tiny fists of an angry child, a child who is sad and mad and tired and upset and frustrated, a child who has a dad loving enough to stand there and take it until the kid burns himself out and collapses in tears into his daddy's arms. 

I have a God who doesn't need me to defend his honor with shouting and violence - he only needs me to tell the world how much he loves everyone. And how much he loves us is this: that "God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses [our insults and offenses and abuses against him and against other people], made us alive together with Christ - by grace you have been saved."  (Ephesians 2:4-5)

And that's something worth shouting about. 

Thoughts on the Passing Scene

or...How I Convinced Myself To Vote For Mitt Romney...

In the words of President Obama, "Allow me to be clear."  I'm no Mitt Romney fan.  Not at all.  I think he's a center or center-right politician who got into the game as part of the family business, who's willing to do or say whatever it takes to be President.  I think he's slimy and more concerned about himself and his ambitions than his commitments to other people.  I don't make these statments lightly, or from a place of uneducated guesswork based on watching him on TV or something. 

I've met The Mitt several times and I was working on a gubernatorial campaign when he was head of the Republican Governor's Association.  I've seen how he is in person, and I've seen how he runs organizations he's in charge of.  And I'm not super-impressed. 

But.

Right now we have President Obama.  And he bothers me.  Look, I don't have to agree with all of the President's policy decisions.  We live in a democracy constitutional republic (as someone reminded me earlier this week).  You win some, you lose some.  I can be disappointed, I can disagree, but I can't claim that I deserve to have everything go my way.  But what bothers me most about President Obama is that he doesn't give me the one thing I - all of us - deserve: a competent President. 

My problem with Obama is that he is completely unqualified for the job of President, and does not appear to have engaged in any particular degree of on-the-job training over the past four years. He is totally incompetent, and time and time again demonstrates that he lacks the basic institutional knowledge and executive experience to successfully fulfill the role.

I am not a Romney fan. It is unlikely that I will make phone calls or knock on doors on his behalf. But I will vote for him, because I believe that he has the skills and background necessary to sucessfully execute the Office of President of the United States. Regardless of our policy differences and the fact that I think he’s slimy, this is clearly a step up from the current situation.

This is a democracy constitutional republic. Everybody votes, and the winner governs. Each of us doesn’t “deserve” to have our guy win, and nor do we “deserve” to have our policy preferences enacted at every turn.

What we do all deserve is a President with the skills, knowledge, and experience to execute the office faithfully. Obama clearly does not. I believe that Romney does.

Therefore, I vote for Mitt Romney.

Book Review: God Laughs and Plays

Yesterday while hanging out at my dad's office, I read God Laughs and Plays: Churchless Sermons in Response to the Fundamentalist Right., by David James Duncan.  I was a little suspicious of the title at first, but I thought, "eh, what the heck?  God does laugh and play, so let's give it a shot." 
I was highly disappointed.  Duncan bills himself as a modern-day mystic setting out to rescue "true" Christianity from all those right-wing fundamentalists.  What he really is, is just another in a series of modern-day "spiritual but not religious" people who love "the real Jesus, not the Jesus Christians like to tell you is real." 

Honestly?  Ho-hum.  Do Christians - all of us - get Jesus "wrong" sometimes?  Sure.  We all like to remake him in our own image - passionate about the things we're passionate about, loving and hating the same things and people we love and hate. But there's a way to talk about this, and make this point, thoughtfully, and there's a way to do it not-so-thoughtfullly.  Unfortunately, Duncan comes across as not-very-thoughtful, despite his attempting to portray himself as oh-so-thoughtful.  The biggest problem with Duncan is that, like so many "enlightened true-Christian liberals" these days, he lays all of the problems of the world (from starving third-world children to environmental problems to premillenial rapture theology) at the feet of Bushcheneyhalliburtonrepublicanschristianfundamentalists.  And, really?  That's just getting old.  In the first place, George Bush and Dick Cheney are both members of the United Methodist Church, which, the last time I checked, was not "fundamentalist".  It is thoroughly mainline.  Second, virtually all of the things that President Bush did that people such as Duncan don't like were voted on and approved by people that he presumably does like.  You can scream "unilateral military action" as long and as loud as you like, but it doesn't change the fact that Congress approved Afghanistan, and 39 countries besides the U.S. sent troops to Iraq.  To say that bushcheneyhalliburtonrepublicanchristianfundamentalists are responsible for all the evil in the world is ignorant, foolish, unfair, unhelpful, and frankly, stupid.  It immediately shows you as someone who is more interested in your ideology than in any sort of serious analysis of a situation.

Third, I'm really just tired of being lectured by the oh-so-enlightened crowd about my Christianity.  Is my theology perfect?  Of course not.  Am I sinner?  Absolutely.  But so are you, Mr. Duncan.  Throughout the book, Duncan seems so proud of the fact that he doesn't attend church and has just sort of discovered his own blend of spirituality and faith by picking and choosing what he likes from every religion and philosophy out there.   Now look, even the Roman Catholic church acknowledges that there are elements of Truth to be found in other religions:

Likewise, other religions found everywhere try to counter the restlessness of the human heart, each in its own manner, by proposing "ways," comprising teachings, rules of life, and sacred rites. The Catholic Church rejects nothing that is true and holy in these religions. She regards with sincere reverence those ways of conduct and of life, those precepts and teachings which, though differing in many aspects from the ones she holds and sets forth, nonetheless often reflect a ray of that Truth which enlightens all men.

 N.T. Wright notes in his commentary on Colossians 1:15-20 that

"To assert today that one Creator God has revealed himself fully and finally in Jesus Christ is to risk criticism on the grounds of arrogance or intolerance.  The ission of the church, however, doe not commit Christians to the propostiion that there is no truth to be found in other retions.  Colossians 1:16 implies that all philosophies or religions which have some 'fit' with the created world will thereby reflect in some ways the truth of God.

However, he continues, "It does not, however, imply that they are therefore, as they stand, doorways into the new creation.  That place, according to 1:18, is Christ's alone." 

Indeed. "I am the way, the truth, and the life," declares Jesus.  We don't like that verse in this day and age, because it limits our options.  Especially in the Western world, where you can literally spend hours in one aisle of Target trying to decide what kind of toothpaste to buy, being told that "I am the way," as opposed to all the other nice, harmless, pleasant sounding, helpful "ways" out there is not what we like.  And as Nostra Aetate and Wright remind us, it isn't that there aren't elements of Truth in other places.  It's that, in the end, all those other elements of Truth coalesce in Jesus, the Truth.

It's that ground that we must finally stand on. 

Part III

I'd been meaning to get to this third part for a while now, and Clayton (in the comments of Part II) inspired me to get to it "sooner", rather than "later."  I've had friends in town, and lots going on, so but anyways...here goes:

My point with Parts I and II re: Church and Politics is not not not to suggest that Christians should completely remove themselves from the public square.  Far from it.  I absolutely think that Christians should vote, discuss the issues of the day amongst ourselves, avail ourselves of our rights (and responsibilities) as citizens, and yes, even run for office and serve in any and all branches of government.  We desperately need the witness of Christians in every aspect of politics, without a doubt.  We need Christians who understand our Lord's concern for the world, and who understand that He works in the world in ways outside of the institutional Church.  We need Christians who will challenge the status quo about the very way that politics works.  Any Christian who feels that he or she has been called to serve in that arena should do so.

My quarrel is with those who see politics as being an effective means in general for accomplishing the Church's goals.  When "The Church" uses the political process as the primary means to achieve her ends, she is rarely successful.  This doesn't mean the Church should be politically stupid, shouldn't know what's going on and how the game works, and so on.  Not at all.

But so often we as "the Church" get caught up in this game of "there are poor people out there who don't have enough to eat - we should yell at the government to do something about it."  No.  We, the Church, should do something about it.  Jesus tells us to feed the hungry - he doesn't tell us to tell other people to feed the hungry.  If and when we can partner with the government in a way that maintains our confessional integrity, then certainly we should.  But politics is not our Savior - when the road that Christ calls us to seems tough, Congress isn't going to appropriate money to repave it.  Although the President may share similar (intermediate) goals as us, he will never be our confidant, because his job is wholly different than ours.

Like I said in Part I, the Pope didn't go to the Kremlin and beg the USSR to tear down the Iron Curtain.  He went to Poland and started praying with the people.  

Ultimately, the Church's goal is to proclaim - in what we say and what we do - that the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.  The concreteness of "what we do" may at times overlap with the state, but our ultimate goals and motivations are different, and therefore we must always be careful that Jesus doesn't get lost in the shuffle.

If that makes sense...

Finally, a word about pastoral care to the politically involved/connected:

To pastors who have Presidents, Congressmen, Senators, state legislators, governors, mayors, city councilmen, etc... in their congregations: know who those people are, be aware of them, and love them.  From an elected dogcatcher to the President of the United States, these people are under pressures and temptations the likes of which the rest of us might never know.  Think about it this way: If you had a major sports star or entertainment figure in your congregation, and the opportunity to build a relationship with/care for him or her, how would you do that?  Do the same thing for politicians.  Do not think that this is your route into getting her to vote the way you think is best - this is not an opportunity for you to make a power play.

When your Congressman is home on recess - take him out for coffee.  When things are getting crazy at the state capitol, invite your state legislator to lunch and tell her it sounds like things have been a little ridiculous lately and you want to make sure she's doing okay.  These are people who desperately need someone in their life who cares about them and is guaranteed to not have an agenda.  Be that person.

A plea, part II

Part I

Eventually, though, you start to get a little tired, and a little hungry.  It occurs to you that perhaps you should change the sheets, even.  And for the first time since you stumbled into the bedroom that night, you start to look around.  You notice that Politics seems to be little more than a high-maintenance mistress.  All around you are the discarded remnants of Money, Alcohol, and Sex - the three things you'll need to survive a long-term relationship with her. 

And make no mistake about it, you're in it for the long haul.  Because you're in it for the right reasons.  For "the poor" or "God's creation" or "preborn babies" or whatever it is that stirs your heart and passions.  And Politics promised you the keys to the kingdom.  All that needs to be accomplished, you can do with her.  "Don't worry about the bottles on the floor, baby," she purrs.  "Come back to bed..."

From far away, you hear a quiet voice: "Follow me."  What is that?  Did someone leave the TV on?  The walls in this apartment are so thin.

And so you close your eyes to mess on the floor, and snuggle in again.  But what you don't know is that you, the one invested in the relationship for all the right reasons, are the only one committed to it.  Politics, she's one sexy babe, but she's got the commitment skills of a 16-year-old male.  You see, when the Money, Alcohol, Sex, or - worst of all - Votes - dry up, she's out the door.

The kingdoms you were promised?  Well, kid, sometimes things just don't work out.  It's not you, it's me. (Remember that - it's the one true thing she's ever said, and you'll need it now.)   What about the poor?  Or creation? Or babies?  Or anything else?  All the dreams you dreamed and hopes you hoped together?  You had plans - together, the two of you could do anything!  You were going to take on the world!

So she starts to tell you all the reasons it'll never work, at least not the way you planned it.  She needs her space, a little more freedom.  Can't you see it has to be this way?  She doesn't want to leave you, per se, it's just, we can't keep going on like this.  You listen, and you desperately want to believe her.  But she's done this before.  She'll probably do it again.  And slowly it starts to dawn on you.  She never loved you.

In fact, that voice that once had the power to seduce you, now sounds like an annoying clanging cymbal.

And from far away, underneath her shrill tones demanding that you'll do it her way or not at all, you hear that quiet voice again.  You've heard it before.  You know it from somewhere.  Or maybe...it seems, somehow, to know you? 

Please, my fellow "Christian public leaders", listen to that voice.  I know - yes, I know - how hard it is not to walk out with Lady Politics.  Believe me.  I know "sexy" when I see it, and it's darn hard to resist.  But the world has already been conquered.  You already have the keys to the Kingdom.  And you've got a job to do.

¹ Praise the LORD.
Praise the LORD, my soul.
² I will praise the LORD all my life;
I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.
³ Do not put your trust in princes,
in human beings, who cannot save.
⁴ When their spirit departs, they return to the ground;
on that very day their plans come to nothing.
⁵ Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob,
whose hope is in the LORD their God.
⁶ He is the Maker of heaven and earth,
the sea, and everything in them—
he remains faithful forever.
⁷ He upholds the cause of the oppressed
and gives food to the hungry.
The LORD sets prisoners free,
⁸ the LORD gives sight to the blind,
the LORD lifts up those who are bowed down,
the LORD loves the righteous.
⁹ The LORD watches over the foreigner
and sustains the fatherless and the widow,
but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.
¹⁰ The LORD reigns forever,
your God, O Zion, for all generations.
Praise the LORD.

A plea to my fellow church-members

Psalm 146

¹ Praise the LORD. Praise the LORD, my soul.
² I will praise the LORD all my life;
I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.
³ Do not put your trust in princes,
in human beings, who cannot save.
⁴ When their spirit departs, they return to the ground;
on that very day their plans come to nothing.
⁵ Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob,
whose hope is in the LORD their God.
⁶ He is the Maker of heaven and earth,
the sea, and everything in them—
he remains faithful forever.
⁷ He upholds the cause of the oppressed
and gives food to the hungry.
The LORD sets prisoners free,
⁸ the LORD gives sight to the blind,
the LORD lifts up those who are bowed down,
the LORD loves the righteous.
⁹ The LORD watches over the foreigner
and sustains the fatherless and the widow,
but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.
¹⁰ The LORD reigns forever,
your God, O Zion, for all generations.
Praise the LORD.

Blogging-when-angry is not usually a good idea, but I don't think I'm so much angry right now as frustrated, sad, and upset. I just got back from a meeting where someone shared that he had just recently learned about this crazy notion that the Church could be involved in politics, and this would be great, because we could do more and better things and help solve problems and aren't we supposed to be out there among the people not just stuck inside our sanctuaries blah blah blah.

No.  No no no.  No.  The answer to the world's problems is not (or maybe very, very rarely) the Church getting involved in politics.  Perhaps occasionally.  But more often than not, when the Church attempts to get involved in social, civic issues, she is most successful when she simply does what she's supposed to be doing and an attitude of "who cares what the state thinks, we'll die for this if we have to".  Look at the major victories of the Church in the name of freedom from oppression and injustice in the last 150 years: Ending institutionalized slavery in the West, increasing civil rights for women and racial minorities, tearing the Iron Curtain from top to bottom, and destroying South African apartheid.   What made these churchly ventures successful?  Was it Harriet Beecher Stowe testifying before Congress, or was it because she wrote Uncle Tom's Cabin?  Did John Newton go storm the halls of Parliament?  Or did he minister to William Wilberforce, a member of his flock?  Did the clergy supporters of Martin Luther King, Jr. cozy up to the politicians of the day, or did they engage their neighborhoods in strategies of integration and preach Colossians 3:11 from the pulpit?  Did Pope John Paul II go to the Kremlin to meet with Soviet leaders?  Or did he go to Poland and pray?  (While it's true that anti-apartheid efforts required a greater degree of direct political involvement from leaders such as Desmond Tutu, I think it can still be argued that the Church was the Church, rather than the Church was political.  If that makes any sense at all.  Which it probably doesn't.)

Anyhow, my point is: Politics looks sexy from the outside.  She looks fun and hip and cool and star-studded and successful and powerful and central-to-everything.  She looks exciting and glamorous and covered in bunting and fireworks.  She looks influential and important and professional and ready to fight the good fight.

But she is a whore-ible Bride of Christ.  Because Politics will sell herself to the highest bidder every time.  Politics will tell you to put your faith in handshakes and yard signs and fundraisers to win, to "save the world".  Politics will tell you that one more speech, one more phone call, one more door-knocking trip around the block; one more email, one more conference call, 1, no, 5, no, 10 hours more in a week is the difference between life and death, between life on top and total nuclear meltdown.

This is hard to see from the outside, I'll grant you.  Because Politics is seductive.  She winks at you from across the room with "bedroom eyes" and tells you that you are needed.  She tells you that you can "be like God", that in fact you already are like God, "knowing good from evil", and the world needs your knowledge.  She tells you that for a night with her - just a night, or a fortnight, a month, a year, a lifetime with her - she'll take you places you've never been, baby.  Places where people treat you right and respect what you have to say, places that sparkle like the bubbles in champagne on Election Night.  She leans over, just close enough so you can smell her perfume and and feel her breath on your neck when she says, "Come on, Sexy.  We both want the same thing.  I know how much you care about poor people/the environment/unborn babies/freedom from tyranny.  Come with me, and we'll fight together.  I can give you all the kingdoms of the world."

You want to go home with her.  Heaven knows, you want to go home with her.  She's beautiful and charming and really just absolutely enchanting.  Your skin tingles just being near her.  The way she tucks that lock of hair behind her ear and lays her hand on your shoulder damn near melts your socks off.  And nobody's made you feel that way in a long, long time.  So with one last "Am I crazy for doing this? Stop me now!" text to a friend, and a gulp of liquid courage, you lay your jacket across her shoulders as the two of you step out into the cool night air.

And at first, it's marvelous.  Like honeymooners, you can't get enough of each other.  The carefully crafted language, the sexy-as-hell question dodging, the late night philosophizing.  The Secret Service and adrenaline rushes and polling data and new ad buys.  Like first-time lovers languishing over each other's bodies, you savor every moment.  Yes, you think.  This is real, this is good, this is productive.

(Part II here)

A Little Bit of Political-ness

I'm discovering this year that my tolerance-for-the-political seems to have swung back to a healthy medium.  After I got out of the game a few years ago, I kind of went cold turkey.  Aside from keeping tabs on a few local races that I cared about because my friends were staffing, I just dropped it.  I didn't really read anything about politics, I stopped watching the news almost entirely, quit reading blogs, and generally didn't want to talk about it with anyone.  In fact, I would tell people, "I used to be in politics but I don't do that anymore" and then people would think that meant that I really wanted to discuss campaign and electoral minutiae with them, and I would get really ticked, because I just didn't want to. 

But this year I've been coming back to more of a middling position, where I'm really enjoying watching the race (presidential, at least), and talking about it with some friends.  Maybe it's because I'm not working for anyone, and I'm not particularly enthralled with any of the candidates, so my emotions aren't running so high.  Maybe it's just an ability to put things in perspective, and to see politics for what it is - useful for organizing this life, but not the most important thing, by a long shot.  I don't know. 

But I do know that it's fun to get excited about the fun things again - even dumb things like autocalls from Newt Gingrich.  I'm still not 100% sure who I'm voting for in the primary.  But right now I'm kind of on the Uncle Newt bandwagon.  Lord knows the man has enough personal baggage to fill a 747, but he's wicked smart, he knows what the heck is going on and how to go about addressing problems, and he's at the point in his career where he doesn't have anything to lose.  He's going to say what needs to be said, to whoever needs to hear it, and let the chips fall where they may.  There's something really refreshing about that sort of honesty.  As regards the personal baggage, well, yeah.  I don't like it.  But this country is in a place where, more than anything, we need someone who knows what he's doing, and isn't afraid to say tough, unpopular things.  We need a leader, and I'm kind of getting that from Newt right now.  Plus, even amidst all the calling people out on their crap, he still maintains this kindly, grandfatherly sort of attitude, that makes me want to call him Uncle Newt.  He's just "cute", in that "sweet old man" sort of way. 

I have no idea how I'll feel when the primaries actually roll around, but for now, Go Newt!

GOP Debate in NH

So...it's way early to start talking about the Republican primary for President, and yet, in a lot of ways, it's way too late.  I was thinking about this - how four years ago, I was already on staff with a Prez Candidate.  The Iowa Straw Poll is in August, and the Caucuses are in January.

I don't think it's too late for people to jump in the race, but it's getting there...

I watched the debate on CNN tonight, although I was flipping back and forth between that and ABC Family's "Switched at Birth."  I don't currently have any deep passion for any of the candidates, although I've basically settled on Tim Pawlenty, since I have good friends working for and supporting him.  I have no real problems with him, which frankly, is kind of what I'm looking for in a candidate.  Bill O'Reilly recently criticized Gov. Pawlenty as being "vanilla", which is sort of true.  That said...I like the idea of "vanilla."  Boring and competent would make me happy.  In 2008 we elected a rockstar, and look where that got us.  We now have a Teleprompter President who is completely out of his league.  T-Paw may not make young women faint or Chris Matthews get tingles up his leg, but he strikes me as knowing what he's doing, which is clearly a great improvement over what we have now. 

That said, I'll go through the other candidates and potentials.

Herman Cain - seems like a good guy, and a very competent businessman, but no government experience.  Much as we'd like government to be run more efficiently, and possibly by someone who has had to be concerned about profit margin, retaining customers, etc..., the fact remains that government simply doesn't function that way.  You can't just hire and fire people in government the way you can in business, the President (by and large) can't just make things happen the way a CEO can, etc...  The way government works can be a pain in the neck some times (ok, a lot of the time).  But I want someone who understands that and can navigate it, and I'm not certain that Cain does. 

Michelle Bachmann - I think she's trying to be Sarah Palin 2.0.  I've heard way too much about her having problems keeping staff (which says a lot about a person), and basically she just gets on my nerves.  I've heard some inside baseball stories that turn me off, too.  I'll not repeat them here, but suffice it to say I have it on fairly reliable authority that Michelle Bachmann is all about Michelle Bachmann.  Sure, a healthy ego is necessary to even think about running for office, but self-absorbed narcissists aren't what we need.  Also, she's kind of a newbie on the political front as well.  She needs a little more experience, a little more maturing, maybe a little more...mentoring...from someone who's been around the block. 

Mitt Romney - supposedly the frontrunner.  I think his front runner status is due almost entirely to "name ID" rather than high-level policy preferences on the part of the electorate.  Everybody's already heard of Mitt Romney, and it's well-known in political/campaign science that when it's a long time until the election, or the issues aren't particularly controversial, people tend to vote (or respond in a poll) for the person they've heard of over the person they haven't.  I think as Pawlenty and the others get out there more, Romney's numbers will drop.  Maybe he really will eventually end up with the nomination, but he hasn't won it yet.  As for my personal opinion of Romney - I think he's slimy.  Every time I've heard him speak, every time I've ever shaken his hand, I've felt the need to take a shower immediately afterward.  There's just something about him that's ... ick.

Newt Gingrich - love him.  I would love him for a history professor.  The dude is freaking smart.  I think he really loves America, and he's a great historian.  When he gets passionate, he's so fun to hear and to be around.  He's smiley and fun and warm and, like I said, really freaking smart.  But I don't think I want him to be President.  He's got a ton of political and personal baggage, such that I'm not sure he could even get elected. 

Rick Santorum - a really great guy.  Really.  But his time has come and gone, I believe.  That, and his Iowa staff leaves, uh, something to be desired.  At least in my eyes.

Ron Paul - crazy.  Enough said.

Sarah Palin - Alright, here's the only thing I'm going to say about her (unless she somehow ends up with the nomination, in which case I'm sure I'll have more to add...).  I really like her.  I think she's a good person, smart, talented, and would have made a great VP under McCain.  That said, the press has absolutely murdered her, and she has not handled it well.  She is great at raising money, great at firing up the base.  But she needs better "handlers."  She needs somebody to prep her for the tough interviews, and then tell her to go in there and "git'erdone!"  But the media is never going to show anything but utter contempt for her.  There are plenty of people floating around elected office of all levels who are dumb, rude, incompetent, undeserving, etc...who have never been treated with the sheer awfulness that Sarah Palin has.  Granted, her poor "handling" has not helped the situation.  But the bottom line is that she is everything feminism ever wanted...and she votes the wrong way.  She is hot, and her husband is hot.  She was elected to the governorship of the largest state in the union, and then nominated for vice-president.  She has a great job and great kids, and a husband who quit his job to avoid a her having a conflict-of-interest in her own.  She can nurse a child while running a state, she can hunt moose and cheer on her kid's hockey team without wrecking her manicure.  She can do interviews with cable news networks in her kitchen while preparing dinner, with her husband sitting at the table holding and feeding the baby.  She makes her kids take responsibility for their actions, but also knows when they need a break, or need some time with mom and dad.  She's as comfortable on the stage of a national political convention as she is in a snowmobile.  At least by all appearances, she has it all.  But she's a Republican.  She's pro-life, refused to abort her Down's Syndrome child, went to a state school, goes to an evangelical church, and knows how to handle a firearm.  In the eyes of contemporary feminism, she is nothing short of a raging heretic, and for that she has been excluded from the "successful women" club.  And she has done a remarkably poor job of overcoming that narrative in the media; of communicating who she is, instead of who they say she is, to the average voter, the person who waits until after Labor Day to start paying attention to politics.  She has already been defined by those who seek to destroy her, and for that reason, she is wholly unelectable.  I love her.  I think she would probably make a great President.  But it will never happen, and for that reason, she needs to not run - to save herself, her family, and the party a whole lot of heartache. 

Rick Perry - Guaranteed, this is the media narrative about Rick Perry: Look what happened the last time we elected the governor of Texas. And then game, set, match to Obama. 

Professional Politics

I've come to the conclusion that professional politics is basically just pretending to accomplish morally sanctimonious ends by means of immoral thoughts, words, and deeds, and whose practitioners (most of them, anyway) attempt to self-justify via large amounts of alcohol and illicit sex.

I'm tired of losing friends to this.  I'd like them back.

Help! I Started Blogging and I Can't Stop!

I must be a writer at heart, because now that I've gotten into this whole blogging thing, I really flippin' love it. 

It occurred to me today, though, that it might be good if I said something nice about the ELCA.  After all, I'm still here, so it must be for a reason, right?  Despite its current trajectory of sacrificing the faith once delivered, I will have to say that being here has edified me in certain areas.  First of all, I used to be a big, conservative jerk.  I was totally sold on ridiculously far-right political positions, and really was one of those people who equated the Republican Party with God.  (I know, leave me alone, ok?)  It's really pretty embarrassing to talk about some of the organizations I was involved in, and things I used to believe, not to mention the things I thought and said about other people.  But I'm also one of those people who has a strong sense of loyalty, and at some point I figured out that I was going to be part of the ELCA for the forseeable future, and so maybe I should be less judgy about them.  This dovetailed with what was going on in my life on another front, when I jumped on board the Straight Talk Express.  About 3 or 4 years ago, God got a hold of me and rather violently (it seemed at the time) got me on my knees about some positions I had on issues and the way I treated people who disagreed with me. 

The ELCA tends to focus a lot on what we are supposed to "do" - support this, write letters for that, get involved here, give money there, etc...I don't always agree with the specifics - the object or the method of our "doing", but I will admit that thinking through the things the national church body supports has made me get serious about being aware of others around me.  Too often, one of the critiques of conservatism is that it is not very compassionate.  For most politically conservative individuals, if you probed deeply, I don't think you'd find a lack of compassion, I think you'd just find it expressed differently.  But, because of how we think about the role of government, we can come across as kind of cold-hearted, particularly given how the mainstream media tends to frame the debate.  (Of course, there are the occasional complete jerks who don't care about anything except themselves... they're on the left, too, though.)  And the thing is, the Bible tells us that we're supposed to be compassionate.  It's easy for Lutherans to talk a good game about "justification by grace through faith," which is totally true.  But we still have to deal with, for example, Matthew 25 or Matthew 19.  Or even the fact that Romans, Martin Luther's favorite book, seems to have as its theme that "faith is a way of life."  Indeed, "the just shall live by faith" but then again, "faith without works is dead."  So, you know, there we are.  However, because I tend to disagree with the object and method of our "doing" in the ELCA, we've now bumped up against another problem. 

God is good!

So, last week I ran into (well, not literally), an old campaign co-worker in the Starbucks drive-thru of all places. I was opening that morning, and I took some lady's order over the headset, had her pull up, and then went over to the window to get her money. I looked at the lady, thought, "Wow, she looks like Bobbie," and she must have been having a similar revelation because at the same time we both said, "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

She was, in fact, visiting her brother not far from the store, but she remembered or knew somehow that I was up here at school. Not sure how that info gets around, but politics is a small world, I suppose. We chatted for a few minutes - she told me what she was up to, who she was working for, caught me up on a few other people, and then she left because we were holding up traffic behind her.

We weren't friends, per se, when we worked together (I actually couldn't stand her), although there's always something about seeing someone from your past that makes you reminisce a little, right? No, not at all. And it had nothing to do with her personally. I realized, in that brief encounter, how glad I am that I have permanently quit politics, how delighted I am to have God call me to something radically different.