Sunday, December 5, 2010

Why I Support DADT

I support "Don't ask don't tell" because I think that's how all of society should function.  The thing is, I don't care who you are or what your "preferences" are - personal information about sexual activity and associated topics are simply not a part of polite conversation.  I don't care if you're gay or straight, if you are having sex or not, or whatever else.  Frankly, I prefer not to know about it.  I'm not sure when this sort of very personal, private information became fodder for public conversation.  I don't share that sort of information about myself with you; please don't share yours with me.* 

Seriously, I understand DADT, and I think that it is - probably, maybe? - the best of a host of bad options.  But there are plenty of people who oppose it, who think that they have some sort of right to "be open" about "who they are."  Um, okay, I guess.  I suppose they do.  First Amendment and all.  But, what makes anyone think that anyone else wants to know?  I mean, seriously.  Those screaming the loudest in name of "tolerance" are often, it seems, the people doing the most to make themselves eminently intolerable in polite company. Seriously.  You want me to "tolerate" you - sure, I can do that.  But - and I say this with all sincerity - you could have the most chaste, perfect, loving, married, sexual relationship, and if you keep insisting on talking about it to me ad nauseaum, I'm going to find you intolerable. 

Also, and I want this to be totally clear: Heterosexual or homosexual: who you want to have sex with does not define "who you are."  No, indeed.  God defines who we all are.  And it goes so far beyond our "sexual preferences."  Please don't buy into the lie that sex is the most important thing in the world, and that it and it alone should be your primary point of self-reference.  No.  No, no, no.  Who did God make you to be?  What are the gifts He's given you?  What are the dreams He's planted in your heart?  Who are you, really?

Bottom line, I think sex is sacred, and the more we talk about it and turn it into a commodity and treat it with the same level of respect and dignity with which we order a pizza, the more we destroy that sacredness, and end up turning other humans into objects rather than lovers or beloved. 

*Of course, I grant exceptions for doctors' offices and even settings of close friendship.  Intimate friends share stories and information that is not shared elsewhere, and I think that's okay.  Even then, however, there comes a certan line of graphic depiction that need not be crossed, in order to protect the slightly squeamish among us.

3 comments:

Daniel said...

But you're not squeamish about finding out that, say, two acquaintances are dating? Of course you don't want to know if they've "gone all the way" or whatever, but you don't think people should have to hide their relationships, right? You don't think that people in a relationship should be prevented from, I don't know, holding hands and thereby announcing to the world that they are in a romantic relationship?

Why should a heterosexual soldier have the right to hold hands with her boyfriend, while a homosexual soldier doesn't have the right to hold hands with her girlfriend?

In order to be consistent, you would have to require that the armed forces adopt a blanket ban on all discussion of all sexual and romantic relationships among all personnel (outside of close friendships and doctor-patient relationships).

Of course, I take it for granted that homosexuals and their relationships with one another should be treated with the same dignity and respect afforded to heterosexuals and their relationships. I don't know where you stand on that issue, but I think you would agree that they should at least be equal before the law.

PS (PSanafter-thought) said...

While I will grant you that there is too much information out there about a lot of personal stuff, this issue isn't about talking about your own private stuff, but about being honest if you are asked a question. And it is about being outed by other people who may suspect that you are homosexual. It doesn't necessarily have to do with behavior, but about a person's self image. And the current rules only apply to a certain segment of the military who can lose their positions by what someone else says about them.

Jeff said...

As an Army combat arms vet I support DADT. Once you join the military your considered a G.I. government issue plainly put, your property of the military regardless of race or religion and you do as your told. You cannot have a cohesive military unit if you stand out amongst the group, that is not how the military works.

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