Life

So, wow.  It's been forever since I posted, but I want to get back into the swing of things, especially now that "the holidays" are over. 

Now we're into New Year's Resolution time - who can set the most grandiose goal, and who can fail the most miserably, seems to be the Great American Competition these days.

The last few years I haven't really been all that into New Year's Resolutions - I don't know why, they just seem sort of...trite, maybe?  That's not quite the word I'm looking for, but I don't know.  They get on my nerves, I guess. 

But for some reason, I felt the need to set a few this year.  Two are of the "I am going to exercise every day for 90 minutes, I swear, this time for real" variety, although not quite that over the top. 

• Pray at least 2 of the daily offices every day.  I've been spending more time with the Liturgy of the Hours this fall and winter, and I really like it.  It helps steep a person in prayer and Scripture, especially the Psalms.  I even set a couple alarms on my phone to remind me to do it, but I've been really bad about when it goes off, just kind of ignoring it, or saying, "Ok, I'll do that as soon as I finish...whatever else I'm doing.."  So, part of my New Year's Resolution is to Just.  Stop.  And.  Do.  It.  Seriously, it takes like 10 minutes.  Maybe 15 at the most.

• Go to bed and get up on time.  I'm not sure why I've had such a problem with this since I moved here.  Well, who am I kidding?  I'm always up late.  I guess it's because it's rare that I have actual morning commitments to attend to.  Sometimes on Wednesday mornings I go have breakfast with the ladies of Little Church.  Technically I have office hours on Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday, but it's really hard to feel committed to them when there is no other person at the office, no one ever stops by randomly just to chat, and no one really knows or cares if I work from there or from home.  (That and it's cold and dark, and the internet has been working about 5% of the time lately...)  So I stay up late because I'm doing...not even anything important...and then I sleep in because I was up late...and then I need an hour to drink coffee and catch up on FB, blogs, do morning prayer, etc... and then the day is practically half gone...and it's a vicious cycle.  So my goal is that when the alarm for LOTH goes off, to stop everything, stick my rice baby in the microwave, pray the office, and go to bed.  Which will thereby enable me to get up on time and get stuff done and be a productive member of society.

So, these are good resolutions, and I feel good about them.  Obviously the fact that I'm typing this at 12:30 am means I haven't been all that successful yet, but I'm working on it.  But then today I stumbled onto an awesome New Year's Resolution.  A lot of people in my area have been resolving to "try something new" every month.  Like, take up scrapbooking or go sky-diving or something.  I've been intrigued by that, but it still didn't quite..suit me.  Today though, I realized that I have been putting my life on hold.  That I've been believing the lie that somehow wiggled itself into society that life doesn't start until you...get married...finish school...get a "real" job...have kids...etc...  And I'm in a place right now where I don't feel like I have my life together at all.  I'm not married, and who are we kidding, that's not even on the horizon for me right now.  I have no idea when I'll get a "real job", and "finishing" school is probably 5 years away at this point.  (More on that later...) 

But it occurred to me today that life doesn't "start" when a person gets married or lands the perfect job or finishes school or buys a house or has kids.  Life is just...life.  And we belong to a God who says, "I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly."  I realized that even though I don't particularly like doing (certain) things by myself, that I'm cheating myself out of life if I wait to experience them until...some time in my life that might not ever be.  We're getting a new Heaven and a new Earth, so if I never see Mt. Rushmore in this lifetime, it's going to be my loss - I doubt it's coming back! 

So my real New Year's Resolution this year is to, once a month, do one of those "things that people who have a life do."  Maybe it's cross something off my "bucket list", maybe it's treating myself to dinner at a nice restaurant, maybe it's just getting out of town for a day and seeing where the open road takes me.  But I'm tired of waiting for my honeymoon to go back to Europe.  I'm sick of self-pity and feeling pitied by others for my...not having my life together...or whatever.  I'm tired of waiting for my friends' work and class schedules to align perfectly with mine to plan a roadtrip.  I don't want to finish this year-long adventure by saying, "No, I didn't do that, and I didn't do that, and no, I didn't do that either..." 

So I'm building my list of "things to do this year."  And I guess, since I don't have anyone to "come along for the journey," I'll pack up Jesus and the communion of the saints, and we'll hit the open road together.  First stop will be tomorrow...today...when I head to a bigger-ish town, and a gorgeous cathedral further down the road, just to check them out. 

In February, I'll be going to a concert by myself, along with a lecture-type event that I'm super-excited about.  (That one I'm actually going to with a friend, but I'm so stoked about it I can hardly sit still.)

Other items for the list are:

• Mt. Rushmore
• Badlands
• visit grad schools in IN, WI, TX
• Canada
• consolidate my financial stuff (boring, but it needs to be done and clearly Financially Organized Prince Charming isn't on his way over to balance my checkbook, so I'm going to have to do it myself...)

Obviously I need some more ideas, so anyone who has any that you think I should consider, share away!  The only stipulation is that it has to be something that I can reasonably accomplish in 2011.  For example, I really do intend to get back to Europe at some point, but I am very realistic about the fact that it's not happening this year. 

So that's my New Year's Resolution...can't wait to take it out for a spin!